Shovelware: press X for oblivion
08/09/22 — by George Smrekar
By now you may have heard about a special little title that will soon be making its way to PlayStation. The bluntly named ‘Press X for Trophies’. Interesting, doubly so if you’re a trophy hunter. Easy plats are easy buys, but this not-so-subtle title might be the straw to break that camel’s back. While some may wonder where this new wave of copy/paste clickers came from, the truth is they’ve been making way for years. Let’s look at the biggest names in achievement hunting and break down the breakdown.
Telltale Games. Godfathers of the easy platinum. Arguably the first to garner a reputation for trophies and gamerscore. Multiple IP such as The Walking Dead boast simple if not consistent requirements. Namely just finishing the game. No fuss no muss. They also went out of business. Take that how you will.
Ratalaika. Probably the best known cheevo brand after Telltale. Same rep’ for easy budget platinums. While their games have slowly gone up in price, they’ve also expanded. Styles range from visual novels (Cross the Moon, The Song out of Space) to 2D puzzle platformers (Wild West Crops, Virtuous Western). From the FPS puzzler Bouncy Bullets to co-op shooter Donuts ‘n’ Justice. Add a pinch of Gun Crazy for good measure. The new, old guard.
EastAsiaSoft. Can be combined with Top Hat Studios for their easy visual novels Vengeful Heart, Memories of East Coast, Venus: Improbable Dream and the odd 0 Degrees to break it up. Not the worst offenders. Just kind of there. Games to cure insomnia. They get a misdemeanor.
S.R.L RandomSpin Games follow with some of the cheaper games out there, not to mention some of the easiest. Tokyo Run, Alien Destroyer, Road Bustle, Chickens on the Road, Funny Truck and the absolutely trash Disco Cannon Airlines round out the list of token plats. Frequently on sale, nothing else if not quick. Next?
ChiliDog Interactive. They’ve carved out a slightly more respectable niche in recent years with their retro style and signature cheat codes. Alexio, Gav Gav Odyssey, Dead Dust, Radioactive Dwarfs to name a few. Cheats enable quicker trophy pops, in some cases allowing you to skip stages entirely. A small mercy?
Smobile. Here’s where we start to turn into cut ‘n’ paste territory. The caveat is these games are generally overpriced which should keep most people away. Trophy hunters love their sales. These are typical $9 games of the ‘run’ variety. Pickle/ Taco/ Coffee/ Pizza/ Oktoberfest/ Donut/ Sushi/ Space/ Horror/ Christmas Run among the chief offenders. There’s also the ‘Break’ series with Canada Break, Donut Break, Coffee Break etc. The branding has begun.
Xitilon has become a staple on the Xbox scene with ever increasing gamerscores at no extra charge. Cheaper cost makes them more accessible while the gamerscore patches give you a longer return on investment. We’re talking several 3000g games with a couple 4000g and 5000g behemoths rounding it out. Games include The Explorer of Night, two Smart Moves games, two Synchro Hedgehogs games, two Butterfly games and the recently updated Lab Crisis. The flood begins.
Breakthrough Gaming has been keeping the PlayStation scene populated with regular Sunday releases of some the most barebones looking games this side of Coleco. Might be the cheapest on the list and right up there with the easiest. Anemic from concept (pinball, football, rock paper scissors) to design. They’re a Christian dev and try to impart some verses of wisdom here and there, but let’s be honest. You’re here for the trophies. To that end, there’s no end in sight. Sundays aren’t going anywhere.
Zakym s.r.o. have just started a ‘jump’ franchise of their own. At $2 a pop they’re not the most cash grabby, but they are a bit late to the party and feel a bit redundant. Several games are listed on the PS Store as ‘just announced’ and these include The lump/ tump/ bump/ xump/ vump/ nump/ fump jump games. Nothing to do once the plat pops other than shut the game off. They’re not trying to hide it either. There’s a 99 cent Frogo waiting in the wings to cleanse your palate.
ThiGames publishes the now infamous jumping *insert food* series that has garnered heat in the community for their sheer volume of releases. Dare I say spam, pushing other games off the front page on a bi-weekly basis. Cheap double stacks (PS4 & PS5) along with egregiously overpriced Turbo Editions that charge double, offering a faster platinum in return. You’re literally paying for what used to be an options toggle. Listed as Children’s Games, but my kids won’t touch ’em. So I took one for the team! To the tune of The Jumping Sandwich, The Jumping Soda, The Jumping Fries/Hot Dog/ Pizza/ Burger/ Taco/ Nuggets/ Sushi/ Brownie/ Burrito. Press x to trophy. Every last one.
Webnetic s.r.o. These bad boys are king of the hill in my opinion. Cheap at $2, easy yet slightly less braindead than The Jumping Foods. Frequent drops with multiple franchises running simultaneously, ever ready to glut the store. Copy/paste titles such as The Giraffe G, The Tiger T, The Bear B, The Dog K, Spidey D, Bat D, Pigeon P, Cow G, Chick C. They’ve since diversified with Basketball B and Football T, the Bronze Age and Silver Age, the Whiskey Story/Wine Story/Ketchup Story. Not done yet? The Slovak Run, The Czech Run. Never ending potential folks. Cross-platform stacks and casual to a fault. It’s the machine we feared would take over.
All this has led to the possibly self aware ‘Press X for Trophies’. Yes, we’ve officially reached the Tipping Point. How much more on-the-nose can you get? Is there a quality control issue in our storefronts, or is this just free enterprise? They say if we don’t learn from our past we’re bound to repeat it. I say batten down the hatches. It might get worse before it gets better.
